Ayo, it’s Lil Yachty — Captain of the Boat — but last night, I was Captain of Stress City.

Let me tell you how I almost lost my mind watching the Minnesota Vikings take on the Chicago Bears last night. See, I’ve always repped the Vikings heavy. Purple runs through my veins like autotune through my vocals. So when I saw the Vikings were underdogs, I thought, “Bet.”

And when I say “bet,” I mean BET. I put $300K on the Vikings to win. No safety net, no cash-out option. All gas, no brakes. I figured, either I’m walkin’ out richer than a platinum record or cryin’ on Instagram Live in full Vikings gear.

Game day hits, and I’m posted in my home theater — 150-inch screen, Vikings jersey on, chain glistening like it’s game time for me, too. I even had purple lights set to “Victory Mode.”

The crowd on TV went crazy. I threw my Vikings helmet at the TV — not out of anger, but because I lost control of my limbs. I’m yellin’ “SKOL, BABY!” so loud my neighbors texted me asking if I was okay😂😂